Five minutes in heaven
Once in a life time, something that we have once heard only from the news occurs in our lives unexpectedly.
The story what I am going to tell you is also something that will surprise you and make you wonder how I can actually be here.
I mean, how I am alive now.
It happened about two years ago in Germany while I was studying as a exchange programme student.
That day, I can hardly forget. How awful it was and how much I thank for being here now.
Actually I had been waiting for that day from a long time ago. It was my first party in Germany as a hostess.
It was an ordinary day like usual. Everything was fine and good except that I was too excited. But something got out of order suddenly.
After the class, on my way home, I found out that I lost my house key so I had to stay outside for about 2 hours waiting for the dormitory charger.
The party was supposed to get started at 8 P.M but I could finally open the door at 7:30 P.M.
Too late for the food. I was in a hurry frying the chicken and dressing up.
Usually something what I do too quickly at once, can be ruined easily. And so as that day. The food was all burned and I spilled the oil on my new party dress.
I screamed out loud. " Nooooooooooooooo" But I had to be on time at the party so I had to dress up again and throw the food away. No time for complaining and sweeping.
As I think everything positive, I decided to enjoy the party and forget about the bad day.
I had good time dancing, drinking, talking with my friends.
I felt great. But suddenly something worse happened to me. Something unbelievable.
It happened in the middle of the dance floor next to the DJ. I was standing next to DJ booth and grabbed a pillar next to me with my hands. And then ' Boom'.
I don't remember anything from then. I had black out. What I remember now and what I felt that moment was that I thought I was dying.
All my body was tumbling and I couldn't say anything. Not any one word.
All my friends there and what I saw was moving slowly like a scene of movie. Yes, because I got an electric shock. It was so real and a great shock that I still remember the feeling. I was
fainted about 5 minutes, the music stopped and tens of people surrounded me. My two italian friends who were doctor came to me and started to talk to me. They needed to find out whether I was
conscious or not. "Bora. Do you hear me? " " Bora, Open your eyes." The voice could be heard dimly. For about 5 minutes I was in heaven. When I opened my eyes, tears bursted out. I really thought
that I was dead. All my friends looked also so worried and scared. That party became disaster to me. I couldn't walk for few days and had to go to doctor. After that day I was so scared even to plug
my laptop into an outlet. Now I of course overcame this, but still I feel terrible whenever that day comes to my mind. And I started to thank everything from little and ordinary things to the big ones. How
happy it is now to breathe and have dinner with family or friends and talk about my terrible story with a big laugh.
It is easy to follow, and I could make vivid scenes in my mind. Though you didn’t use big words or long sentences, it is pleasing to read and a really interesting story. Of course, I feel sorry for your accident, but you’ve overcome, right? Now you can cast a beam of lightening or something? I am joking.
ReplyDeleteA sentence you wrote was that “I was so scared even to plug my laptop into an outlet”, and I wonder that “an outlet” means a power point. That was one thing unclear to me.
For I have never had an experience of fainting, it is quite hard to imagine your description that you couldn’t walk for few days. It just means that you were not able to control your body? Because of the remaining electronic shock disturbing your neuron system? Your experience was something extraordinary that it would have been better to give us more specific details.
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ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is the introduction. The introduction is very exciting. It keeps raising my curiosity about your story. Also the title “Five minutes in heaven” is extraordinary to make readers to start reading your story.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems “Have gratitude for small and ordinary things”
3. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is the part ‘And I started to thank everything from little and ordinary things to the big ones.’ I know you write this as a clich. But as it could be the main sentence in this writing. This could be better if you emphasize on the aspect of small and ordinary as ‘And I started to thank the routine and ordinary activity of my life.’
'Near death experience' caught my eyes as soon as I started reading this piece. The main point of the story seems to be "Do not take things for granted." If I were to comment on your story, it would be the little unfamiliar words like I've told you about in the class. Words such as pillar, hostess, blacked out and 'Heaven'. I had a real fun time reading your story.
ReplyDelete