FIRST DRAFT <CHAPTER 5> 200904069 Park Ye Jee As soon as I saw the assignment, I thought of my family. When I tried to think about my family's history, ironically I didn't know much about that. So I decided to interview my family. I have a total 4members in my home: father, mother, aunt, brother. Aunt who is my mother's youngest sisters has been living together since when I was 11years. My older brother is studying now abroad. On Saturday afternoon, I called my home to interview because I was living apart with them. My aunt answered the phone. "Oh, YeJee. Hello?" "Aunt, Hello. What are you doing now?" I asked her. "I'm just taking a rest because nowadays, my condition is not so good," she said. Her voice sounded she was sleepy. I was about to ask her history but I worried her condition and I asked her what my father was doing. "He might be taking a nap in his room." She replied, "But mother is awake now. Wait for a second." She said and called my mom. Without any choice, I decided to interview mom. "My lovely daughter what happened to you? You never call home first." My mom said in a delight voice. I told her that I wanted to know about when she was a teenager and asked her whether she could answer a few questions. She accepted with pleasure. I asked her what it was like when she was a middle school student. She stopped saying for a moment and started to say. "It was so difficult to live at that time. My family was not rich. So my parents had to earn money to raise me and my brothers and sisters." She was born in a small village near the sea in the south province of Chungcheon. And she was the oldest among brothers and one sister. She had three younger brothers and one youngest sister. She explained that her family was poor at that time and while grandfather and grandmother were going out to work, she had to take care of her brothers and the sister. It was not the only thing that she had to do. She had to clean the house, make meals for brothers and the sister, go to a mountain and gather some pine cones to use them for firewood. "Wow, you did that when you were young? I didn't know that you even went to the mountain to fetch some cones." I said. And she added, "Besides, when I became middle school student, I was living near my school with first brother and my friend because the middle school was so far from my home. So when I go home on the weekend, I had to walk for 3hours."She recalled the time. I was really surprised my mother had to go home by walk at that time. "Why did you walk? Wasn't there a bus?" I asked. And she replied, "Yes. My village was so small village that every bus didn't go there." I felt sorry to hear that and I was curious about her high school life, then. She said she wanted to be independent and to make money. So she moved to another city which is called "SooWon", where there was a commercial high school. She had four classes and worked for eight hours in three shifts every week. I asked her, "How much did you earn at that time?" Mother didn't seem to remember and guessed, "Probably two hundred thousand won? Yeah, it was only two hundred thousand won!" I thought it was almost miserable. And I became sad how much difficult she was. "Is it almost done? Do you want further story?" asked my mom. "No, but if I have something I want to know, I will call you again. Bye." I hung up the phone and I could respect my mother more. Because she experienced hard time during her youth, she wants to give us everything as far as she can. Next time I will try to ask another story.
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Sunday, January 13, 2013
200904069 Park Ye Jee
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yong sun hwang
ReplyDelete1 I liked that you used some vivid adjectives like “delight”. I think the story was easy to understand and the flow of your writing was quite good. When you use quotations, words you use was seem real to me.
2 You just mentioned it was so difficult to live at that time. Why it was so difficult to live at that time? What year was it?
3 I think the most important idea of your writing is that you don’t know much about your family history so you interviewed your mother. And you realized that your mother had difficult childhood.
4 "Besides, when I became middle school student, I was living near my school with first brother and my friend because the middle school was so far from my home. So when I go home on the weekend, I had to walk for 3hours."
5 I think there were not many quotations in your writing. I found just a few quotations in your writing
6 More detailed information.
Your interview is still on going?
ReplyDeleteThe idea of interviewing your family is very good and brilliant.
Family.. they are always next to us but we never know exactly what they went through. But more detailed informations or more interview are in need.
Idea itself is brilliant but the essay needs to be revised and added.
(I want more stories in it)