A passionate musician
I am about to be a senior this year. My first goal during this winter break is to find what I really want to do and enjoy for the rest of my life. From childhood, there were a lot of things that I wanted to try. However, unfortunately, I didn’t find what I really am eager to do yet even though there are so many things that I am interested in.
Whenever I have a tough time to decide on my future career, there is someone who makes me passionate, ambitious, and optimistic. It is my cousin sister. She is studying music to be an influential musician. In order to get some idea about how she was able to find and dream one thing for a long time straightly and refresh myself with overflowing energy for my future, I visited her.
Even though it was the middle of the day, she was sleeping, so I had to wait for her to be awake. Her mom said that she came home at dawn because of her late music performances. After 30 minutes, she stepped out of her room with her messy hair and heavy make-up. She still looked sleepy, but she decided to give an interview without hesitation. Through Facebook or phone, we often tend to contact each other, but it was the first conversation with interview form between us.
I said to her I wanted her to answer me about her musician life until now. She looked a little bit shy, but her eyes were shining when she heard me saying “musician”. It was her present description and entire goal at the same time.
When I opened her door, I wasn’t able to find the place to put my feet. A classic piano with a pencil and music note seemed to occupy one side of the room. Besides, an electronic piano and stand microphone were at the center of room. It seemed that I was in real singer’s recording studio. On the other side, two long racks for CDs made me dizzy because too many CDs with its stairs shape was likely to fall off. Also, I couldn’t open the door completely because a guitar stood behind the door. Besides her lots of music things, what made me wonder was her bookshelf full of different books. There were books about music, but there were considerable books of different areas. Her room with many music instruments and things made me imagine her hard working full of inspirational ideas. She noticed me confused a little bit, so she allowed me to have a seat in her bed. I started this interview with my first question.
“What made you want to be a singer?” I asked. She answered right away as if she was given this type of question before. She answered that when she was 9 years old, after watching SES, one of the most famous group singers, singing in TV, she came to want to be a singer indecisively. Along with it, as she compiled a lot of albums of many musicians, they became her proudest possession.
I asked whether there was any obstacle to her dream or not. “Until I decided to study music after graduating from high school, my parents didn’t think of it serious. But, when I told them that I wanted to apply for music school for my major, they started to object strongly.”
“Was it very hard to deal with?” I asked.
“I think that my parents didn’t doubt my potential, but they worried about what I had to go through in cold, unstable, competitive environment. Therefore, I had an unconditional faith I could change their minds and show my competence.” She added that if they had opposed with doubt about my dream, I would have spent very hard time mentally. “Now I understand why they wanted to keep me from dreaming a singer. They did because they loved me so much.”
I wondered what kinds of work she did after entering music school as she hoped. She sang as one of the members of her professor’s famous music band, and participated in a lot of concerts and performances as a chorus, and did many gigs. Besides, she was awarded in a few famous competitions. She constantly told me what she did until now with proud.
“What are you doing now and what do you want to do from now on?” I asked.
“Fortunately, I received a call in the middle of preparing my performances for competitions from a music company. So, I am recording and writing my songs for my first album. What I really hope right now is to get my first album covered with my own color and do my best.”
“What? An album?” I couldn’t hide my surprise. I didn’t know that she contracted with a company and above all, she was preparing for her first album. It was so amazing and I couldn’t believe that someone who is so close to me would release a public album.
She also told me that she wanted to study and work music in much wider areas such as modern art in the future.
“In the last question, what is the main reason you are singing, writing songs on and on?” I asked.
“Hmm, how can there be another reason except I never grow tired of listening music?” she replied. This answer sounded too simple than I expected, but somehow, it could be a real reason than anything. After I finished interview, she started to get ready for her schedule. She didn’t look tired at all, and despite her incredible busy schedule every day, she looked energetic than anyone. While I was with her, it came to my mind that beautiful is dreaming. Along with her, I also became energetic and I got eager to do something that would make me passionate and joyful.
When I was about to leave, she said that she would sing a song that she wrote recently for me. I listened to her singing with all my attention. Its melody was really amazing! It sounded much better than professional singer’s songs nowadays. Also, it sounded serious and honest because it was all about her real worrisome or dissatisfaction. I sneaked out of her room while she was covered by her own musical emotion.
1. I like your description of interviewee's room. You wrote specifically about her room, so I could feel the atmosphere as if I were there. It was also effective to show the personality of the interviewee.
ReplyDelete2. Why did you sneak out of your cousin's room though you liked her music?
3.While I was with her, it came to my mind that beautiful is dreaming. Along with her, I also became energetic and I got eager to do something that would make me passionate and joyful.
4.“Hmm, how can there be another reason except I never grow tired of listening music?”
This shows your cousin's passion to music.
5. I think there were the right number of quotations. You balanced well between direct and indirect quotations.
6. As I mentioned in #2, the ending of the essay didn't have clear meaning. The essay would get better if you add more explanation.
1. At first, I liked the parts that you described your cousin sister's room. Your description was so detail that I could imagine how it was actually. Also, I felt not only the fullness of her room but also her hard work for her career.
ReplyDeleteAnd I liked the way you chose to make story from your thought about future to interviewing her. The flow of your story is really good, smooth. Actually thinking about what to do in the future is an anguish for everyone, so you caught my attention, and you will catch other readers' attention easily.
2. Nothing special.
3. Whenever I have a tough time to decide on my future career, there is someone who makes me passionate, ambitious, and optimistic.
4. “Hmm, how can there be another reason except I never grow tired of listening music?”
I liked this quotation because it clearly shows the topic of this writing and the reason why she loves music. The reason why she is passionate and ambitious is simple. Because she loves it.
5. In my opinion, the number of quotation is moderate, not too many or too few. The interview of your questions and her answer is made by paragraph, so there was no difficulty in reading your writing.
6. Your overall writing is so good. But only one thing I could suggest is that how about adding a interesting event of during this part, "She constantly told me what she did until now with proud." Of course, adding one more episode could make your writing incoherent and too big, but I think you can make it with simple sentences.
Final draft_Jieun Lee (201002708)
ReplyDeleteA Passionate Musician
I am about to be a senior this year. My first goal during this winter break is to find what I really want to do and enjoy for the rest of my life. From childhood, there were a lot of things that I wanted to try. However, unfortunately, I didn’t find what I really am eager to do yet even though there are so many things that I am interested in.
Whenever I have a tough time to decide on my future career, there is someone who makes me passionate, ambitious, and optimistic. She is my cousin. She is studying music to be an influential musician. In order to get some idea about how she was able to find and dream one thing for a long time straightly and refresh myself with overflowing energy for my future, I visited her.
Even though it was the middle of the day, she was sleeping, so I had to wait for her to be awake. Her mom said that she came home at dawn because of her gig. After around 30 minutes, she stepped out of her room with her messy hair and heavy make-up. She still looked sleepy. However, when I said to her I wanted her to answer me about her musician life until now, she replied without any hesitation. “Yes” She looked a little bit shy, but her eyes were shining when she heard me saying “musician”. It means who she is now and her entire goal at the same time.
When I opened her door for my interview, I wasn’t able to find the place to put my feet. A classic piano with a pencil and music note seemed to occupy one side of the room. Besides, an electronic piano and stand microphone were at the center of room. I felt like I was in a real singer’s recording studio. On the other side, two long racks for CDs made me dizzy because too many CDs with its stairs shape was likely to fall off. Also, I couldn’t open the door completely because a guitar stood behind the door. Also, what made me wonder was her bookshelf full of different books. There were books about music, but there were considerable books of different areas. Her room with many music instruments and things made me imagine her hard working full of inspirational ideas for her songs. She noticed me confused a little bit, so she allowed me to have a seat in her bed. I started this interview with my first question.
ReplyDelete“What made you want to be a singer?” I asked. She seemed to recall her past for a little while, and she started to answer right away as if she was given this type of question before. When she was nine years old, after watching SES, one of the most famous singers in Korea at that time in TV, she came to want to be a singer indecisively. Along with it, as she compiled a lot of albums of many musicians, they became her proudest possession.
I asked whether there was any obstacle to her dream or not. “Until I decided to study music after graduating from high school, my parents didn’t think of it serious. But, when I told them that I wanted to apply for music school for the rest of my life, they started to object strongly.” She replied.
I asked her how they stopped her from being a singer. Basically, after she told them her goal, there were frequent conflicts between them. One day, she couldn’t stand why her dad strongly opposed anymore, so she turned on them in anger, asking them why they gave birth to her. Her dad was disappointed with her. After that day, the relationship between my cousin and her dad became uneasy. She seemed to regret that moment with all her heart.
“Actually, I didn’t mean it. It just came out of my mouth. I regretted that, so I tried very hard in order to show my passion.” She said.
“So, didn’t you recover your relationship with your dad yet?” I asked.
ReplyDelete“My dad is the most powerful supporter now.” She replied with shining smile. After she entered the university, and he saw her singing on the street performance, he was moved by her efforts and advancement.
“I think that my parents didn’t doubt my potential, but they worried about what I had to go through in cold, unstable, competitive environment. Therefore, I had an unconditional faith I could change their minds and show my competence.” She added that if they had opposed with doubt about my dream, I would have spent very hard time mentally. “Now I understand why they wanted to keep me from dreaming a singer. They did because they loved me so much.”
I was surprised at what she said to her dad at first, but on the one hand, I knew that she was really firm about what she wanted to do.
I wondered what kinds of work she did after entering music school as she hoped. She sang as one of the members of her professor’s famous music band, and participated in a lot of concerts and performances as a chorus, and did many gigs. Besides, she was awarded in a few famous competitions. She constantly told me what she did until now with proud.
“What are you doing now and what do you want to do from now on?” I asked.
“Fortunately, I received a call in the middle of preparing my performances for competitions from a music company. So, I am recording and writing my songs for my first album. What I really hope right now is to get my first album covered with my own color and do my best.”
“What? An album?” I couldn’t hide my surprise. I didn’t know that she contracted with a company and above all, she was preparing for her first album. It was so amazing and I couldn’t believe that someone who is so close to me would release a public album.
She also told me that she wanted to study and work music in much wider areas such as modern dance or musical in the future.
ReplyDelete“What is the main reason you are singing, writing songs on and on?” I asked to finish the interview.
“Hmm, how can there be another reason except never growing tired of listening music?” she replied. This answer sounded too simple than I expected, but somehow, it could be a real reason than anything. After I finished interview, she started to get ready for her schedule. She didn’t look tired at all, and despite her incredible busy schedule every day, she looked energetic than anyone. While I was with her, it came to my mind that beautiful is dreaming. Along with her, I also became energetic and I got eager to do something that would make me passionate and joyful.
When I was about to leave, she said that she would sing a song that she wrote recently for me. I listened to her singing with all my attention. Its melody was really amazing! It sounded much better than professional singer’s songs nowadays. Also, it sounded serious and honest because it was all about her real worrisome or dissatisfaction about her real life. I sneaked out of her room while she was covered by her own musical emotion and melody.